Saturday, December 17, 2011

With Love, to "My Heart with Clothes On"

Ella:
A six-year-old going on 16. This girl is so ready to grow up, and I wish I could sit her down and tell her to "WAIT!" Sure, I could. But I don't think she would understand.
Being a kid is so much fun, and growing up I had so many great friends. Such great friends... Jaimi Bertelson, Marie Wichterman, Marci Waite, Heather Warren, April Mako, Melissa Schults, Trisha Haws, Nancy Newman. Some are childhood - some are from getting old: but with them I can still be a kid. With them I can still confide secrets. With them I can still act stupid and they understand. That is what being a kid is all about.
So if there is one thing I could tell my little Ella: enjoy being a kid. Lavish in it's freeness. I'll take care of all your worries. I'll swallow all of your anxieties.
A friend of mine put it best. These children are just our hearts with clothes on. (Thanks Loree.)
Abbigail:
My heart is breaking a bit today.
We fought today - me and little, gentle hearted Abbigail. Of course it was about makeup. That's what girls fight about. But it stings so deeply when I hear her cry. Not the fake, tantrum, "I didn't get my way!" cry, but the cry where you know her feelings have truly been hurt. And by me, her mom.
I think as parents we all have those moments. When we want to say yes, but we have to say no. My other two girls handle it differently. But for some reason, Abbigail handles it internally and you can see her sadness.
So that is how I left today. Her sadness seeping from her eyes. Sad because "Mommy was mean" but sad also because she knows I'm sad she won't let me comfort her.
In the end, just before I walked out the door, she relented with the anxiety that I would leave her without that goodbye kiss. We hugged, she cried, I held her tighter, and hearts were comforted. But I'm still sitting here, thinking about my sweet Abby and hoping her day is filled with laughter and fun instead of tears. She wears her heart on her sleeve. Is easily hurt, but easily loves.
These pictures are a little old, some from summer - but they capture I think some of her finest qualities.

We have a great neighbor, Kay, who ADORES Abbigail. And Abby isn't too shy about taking advantage of that. This 3-year-olds daily routine includes walking next door (typically barefoot), ringing Kay's door, and spending sometimes hours just chatting, talking, playing, dancing - whatever with this wonderful neighbor. I can see why Kay loves Abbigail so much. She's just between that stage of being a toddler and a kid. Her voice is sweet, her laugh infectious, and she pronounces all "K" sounds with a "T".... adorable. When she comes home Kay has loaded up a bag full of animal crackers and marshmallows - and usually some extra bags for her sisters. We love Kay, and Kay loves Abbigail. It's easy to see why.
Rarely do I get a nap out of this crazy kid anymore. So. Much. To. Do!
But there are days she is so worn out from play dates, school, visiting neighbors that she'll ask to watch some TV (something rare) and within minutes she is asleep. On this day, Miley the cat took advantage of nap time and curled up with Abbigail. Nothing more peaceful than watching your kid nap. Of course, usually a mid-day nap means bedtime is going to go haywire.
I love this picture! "Why," you ask? "Your kids are fighting!" "Hair is being pulled!" "Teeth are used as weapons!"
I'll tell you why I love it. About 30 years ago this was me and one of my sisters. We fought. We pulled hair, kicked, bit, and pistol whipped with fake guns (thanks Erica, still have that scar.)
But my sisters are my best friends, and so what do I see when I look at these pictures? A future where they will have best friends that will never go away. No: I don't encourage the fighting. Yes: I try my best to intervene. But still, it's good to know they are headed in the right direction... I think.