Thursday, February 23, 2012

Sliver of Sun

Lately I've been searching for my "Sliver of Sun."

It seems no matter where it is in the house the cats and dog hunt it down. It could be no wider than a good book, they'll find it. If the sun moves, they move. If the sun goes away, they find warmth somewhere else.

A long, long time ago... when I was young... when I never lost sight of the "sun" I would warm in it just like the cats and the dog. The best day to do this was on Sunday. I would come home from church, eat lunch with my family (always with my family) and then put on my most comfortable sweats. Then I would find it, that sliver of sun. Usually it was in the family room. I didn't need a pillow. I didn't need a blanket. All I needed was that "Sliver of Sun" and I would relax, doze, and soak up that sun.

Sometimes I'll walk through my house and walk through a sliver of sun. The warmth only lasts an instant, but when I look around the cat isn't far. He has found it, and I wish I could take the time to stop and soak up some of that sun. But the house isn't clean. The laundry isn't done. The kids are hungry. I'm running late for work. What's for dinner? I still need to exercise.

There is always a reason, an excuse why I can't make time for that "Sliver of Sun."

A long, long time ago... when I was young I always made time for the "sun." Of course, I didn't have as many excuses back then, but even when my plate was full my cup always "runneth over." Perhaps it was because every morning, before the sun was even up, I went to seminary to "warm in a sliver of sun." Perhaps it was because every Sunday, with my family, I "warmed in a sliver of sun" at church followed by a family meal. Perhaps it was because I made finding the "sun" a priority, and not something I would do if there was time.

Now I'm a grown-up. If this is what you call being a grown-up. With two working parents, family meals are rare, and rushed. Church is Jared wrestling three little girls through 3 hours all alone, and me breaking away from work to visit a different ward - with no family. There are no Sunday afternoon naps. (Who are we kidding? There are NO naps!)

I've realized that I'm rushing to get through every day that I've been overlooking and neglecting those "Slivers of Sun." But one hit me so warmly today it could not be ignored. A sweet message on a mini Etch-a-Sketch. "I love mommy." Ahhh, sun. I stood for a moment, staring at it, soaking in it, actually pausing to enjoy the warmth.

Yes, I need to search for more "sun" in my scriptures and prayer. Even just writing those words I feel the warmth. But there are so many "Slivers of Sun" in my life every day: Jared kissing me goodbye in the morning, Ella lovingly protecting her baby sister, Abbigail singing primary songs and getting most of the words right, and Claire - all I need is her smile. It's so freely given.

Those "Slivers of Sun" are so unconditionally given. In fact, they aren't slivers at all. I'm drenched in sun-light. All I have to do is recognize what He has given me, stand in that sun, and I'll never have to search for it again.

Of course, it will still be a long time until I get that nap.